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Archive for July 2013

all I want is what I have coming to me. all I want is my fair share.

This is what my brain hears when my child complains about the things he wants me to buy for him, the things his friends have and his awful deprivation. I say, “All I want is what I have coming to me. All I want is my fair share.” Then I laugh at him when he looks at me confused and agrees. Is that wrong? Honestly, even if it is wrong, I don’t think I’m gonna stop doing it.

At dinner tonight I showed my family the clip and read them the context. (Thank you imdb.) I’m still pretty sure they have no idea what I’m talking about. It’s probably for the best.

A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965) (TV)

Sally: I’ve been looking for you, big brother. Will you please write a letter to Santa Claus for me?
Charlie Brown: Well, I don’t have much time. I’m supposed to get down to the school auditorium to direct a Christmas play.
Sally: [hands a clipboard and pen to Charlie Brown] You write it and I’ll tell you what I want to say.
Charlie Brown: [sticks pen in his mouth] Okay, shoot.
Sally: [dictating her letter to Santa Claus as Charlie Brown writes it for her] Dear Santa Claus, How have you been? Did you have a nice summer?
[Charlie Brown looks at her]
Sally: How is your wife? I have been extra good this year, so I have a long list of presents that I want.
Charlie Brown: Oh brother.
Sally: Please note the size and color of each item, and send as many as possible. If it seems too complicated, make it easy on yourself: just send money. How about tens and twenties?
Charlie Brown: TENS AND TWENTIES? Oh, even my baby sister!
Sally: All I want is what I… I have coming to me. All I want is my fair share.

without saying too much…

One of my babies really needed his mommy today. My heart hurt for his pain, but at the same time I was acutely aware that in his suffering he reached for me, actually called to me and let me in. Despite his independence and growing maturity he let me help him, wanted me there. And as I plodded through the awfulness of the day, I carried a glowing warmth, an awareness of being needed, loved and truly appreciated. It was really something.

summer dreams

So last night I had my first teacher anxiety dream of the summer. It may have been inspired by all the reading I’ve been doing about setting up a compassionate and carefully-structured classroom. (See: Responsive Classroom) In my dream I was teaching in a city classroom in a public school somewhere. It was the first week of school (maybe high school?) and I had forgotten to do all the great set-up routines, teach the signals, etc. The kids were crazy and I was scared of them. Me? Scared of children? In all my years of teaching, this has never happened in real life. I’m not even scared of middle-schoolers. Despite this, it’s a recurring nightmare that’s been haunting me in various incarnations for decades.

In the daylight hours I’ve been supercharged with enthusiasm, making new posters and themed color-coded materials for my classroom, developing routines and even buying potting soil to re-pot my classroom plants. I’m ON TOP OF IT. ¬†People are wondering why I don’t “take some time off” or “relax”. (Like staying home and doing laundry is relaxing for someone?) I don’t want to take a single day away from thinking, planning, creating. ¬†I’m staying up late at night getting (p)inspiration from the clever strategies other teachers have shared on the internets. If I stop rolling around in these ideas, will I lose my train of thought and forget something essential? I’m immersing myself in creative possibilities and it’s thrilling and possibly somewhat manic.

So is my subconscious dream-self telling me to keep up the exciting work, or warning me to take it down a notch?

Yes, I did make tiny little targets and arrows with the students' names on them, to match our "Hitting the Target" classroom theme.

Well, hello.

If a person blogs in her backyard and there’s no one there to read it, did she really write anything?

We shall see. So I am thinking about perhaps rejuvenating this blog. But the problem is, what sort of blog would it be? Would it be a knitting blog? A teacher blog? A person who owns several ukuleles but doesn’t really play them sort of blog? Maybe a showoff what I’ve been baking and knitting kind of blog? Parenting trials and tribulations? All those things currently live on facebook… is there a reason to come back to the blog format?

What with it being summer and having some extra time that would ordinarily be allocated to laundry, blogging is looking kind of appealing.

Even if it is just for my own head-clearing writing-muscles benefit, I think I”ll try for a 15 day challenge. Let’s see if I can write just a little something every day. Here’s day one… anyone there?

Concerns to consider:

Is this blog auto-mailing itself to anyone from my previous life as a blogger… and is that going to be a mess?

Is this blog connecting itself automatically to facebook and twitter? In a good way?

How do I get a pinterest button up in here? (Anyone know?)

That’s all for now! See you tomorrow…